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Mighty Maraqua Mermaids Make Mincemeat of Minions


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Goooood morning, folks! This is Katie bringing you the best introduction yet! My co-anchor Matt and I will be bringing you today's report from the newsroom, sans our elusive field reporters. Johan and Austin have yet to check in with us from the colosseum, so we can only assume the latter is engaging in some sort of elaborate machination. We'll be sure to update you on their conditions as we hear of them! For now, we must carry on without them -- let's get to the Alabriss Bracket results, shall we?

Amazing! Three teams dominated their opponents yesterday in the Alabriss Bracket: Maraqua, Kreludor, and Terror Mountain cleanly swept Darigan Citadel, Faerieland, and Moltara, respectively. This bracket has been overshadowed by the infamously "loaded" Vaeolus Bracket, but the top four teams are vying for the last podium spot -- Maraqua, Darigan Citadel, Kreludor, and Terror Mountain are all in contention with each other. Though with varying margins of points, each is fighting for the top spot in the Alabriss Bracket. Recently, Kreludor was usurped by Terror Mountain, and it looks like the Chillers will nab the greatest number of points this round!

Elon HughlisTeam Maraqua shocked fans with the sweep over Darigan Citadel, though they still trail the Minions by three points in the standings. The Mermaids' captain, Elon "The Black Hole" Hughlis, currently edges in behind Terror Mountain's Prytariel in the top goal scorers list. His leadership and notoriety as a clutch performer certainly came in handy as the clock wound down in their Yooyuball match against the Minions. With an assist from Oten Runeu and a perfectly placed throw with the Mutant Yooyu, Hughlis propelled his team to victory with the buzzer beater. Notwithstanding the overwhelming victory, Hughlis promised his fans that they would continue to practice humility as the fifth round comes into view. As for the Minions, Darigan Citadel does have the advantage here. However, after a disappointing fourth round, they need to keep themselves motivated throughout the final round of play if they want a shot at bronze.

The Moons had easy victories against the Faeries yesterday, winning by at least a one-point margin in all four games. The largest margin was the 9-2 Slushie Slinger win over Faerieland. Kreludor had an exceptional fourth round, only suffering definite losses against the team that beat them for first place in the bracket -- Terror Mountain. However, being second in the bracket has certainly bolstered their chances for third place in the tournament. Captain Derlyn Fonnet was optimistic about her team's chances, as they only lag behind the current third place contender by four points. She also stated that she's excited for the last round to begin, as the race for third place is intense. On the flip side, Faerieland has barely raised themselves out of sixteenth. They have still performed better than Moltara and are on par with Virtupets, but their woes continue. Stay positive, yeah?

PrytarielTerror Mountain has been on an icy rampage as of late! Demolishing all teams in the bracket in Yooyuball, the Chillers have made a comeback in the standings. Captain Prytariel's remarkable rise to first on the top goal scorers list has definitely improved the team's Yooyuball performance. Even more remarkable was Terror Mountain's climb to the top of the bracket! After a brilliant round, the Chillers gained pole position for the fifth and final round. Though their slow start has kept them at a lower ranking, they have a slight chance at catching up for the coveted third place seat. Team Moltara is in a similar position as Faerieland, though they are worse off. Remaining at the bottom of the standings, Moltara needs a good final round to elevate themselves out of dead last. Otherwise, they'll be doomed.

On to the Minitheus Bracket! Brightvale held onto their immaculate Slushie Slinger record this round, in addition to winning Yooyuball against the Ninjas. Shenkuu took Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown in order to secure themselves as third in the bracket, just behind the Wizards. The Haunted Woods kept their first place ranking the entire round, and did so with fanfare! The Lost Desert nearly fell prey to the Zombies, salvaging only one win in Make Some Noise. Lastly, Virtupets were unable to win more than two games against Mystery Island, Yooyuball and Make Some Noise. The Natives continue to improve, garnering two wins for the second time in a row.

Orie DinelleBrightvale and Shenkuu are neck-and-neck in the bracket, though the former was able to stay ahead to clinch second place. The Wizards did excellent in Yooyuball and Slushie Slinger this round, which helped them enormously. Mirsha Grelinek, of Shenkuu fame, was a bit disappointed in the outcome of the match. Still, the captain remains hopeful -- Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown victories are nothing to be ashamed of. Brightvale is likely to be out of contention for third place, but the margin between their current rank and a higher one isn't too far out of reach. The same is true of Shenkuu, if they can power through the final bracket and amass some wins under their belt.

Zo JuniorThe Haunted Woods' tenacity has kept them at the top of the Minitheus Bracket! Suffering only one loss in both Yooyuball and Shootout Showdown, the Zombies looked stronger than ever during the fourth round. Captain Krell Vitor seemed elated at their wins against the Lost Desert yesterday, his wicked grin revealing glinting teeth. Taking first place in the bracket has garnered them much-needed points going into the last round, and they may very well improve over last year's ranking. The Lost Desert, however, remains rather stagnant in the standings. The distance to the next place up is widening, so winning is their imperative if they wish to move upwards before the tournament ends.

The Virtupets-Mystery Island match-up had many implications in its results. The Robots' robust Yooyuball streak remained untouched, and their Slushie Slinger and Make Some Noise records also fared well. Virtupets won Yooyuball and Make Some Noise against the Natives yesterday. It wasn't enough to raise them past the Lost Desert, however. Mystery Island also stayed put at the bottom of the bracket, though they managed to win two games in the past two days. This has definitely been an improvement for the Natives! Despite these victories, both teams are destined for a below-average finish. Still, the margins are close, and giving up now would be absolute folly!

My co-anchor, Matt, has your riveting Vaeolus Bracket results, so let's turn it over to him!

Thanks, Katie, for your excellent report! Now let's turn our attention to the results from the Vaeolus Bracket, a bracket that was full of sweeps today! We had some very exciting matches yesterday as the three powerhouse teams of the bracket went up against the three underdog teams!

Altador Altador took the field by storm yesterday! The Krawk Island Pirates were completely blown away by the Suns! Altador was definitely able to outshine the Pirates yesterday, and show that they haven't lost motivation despite the fact that they were swept the day before by their biggest competition so far, Tyrannia. Yooyuball ended with a score of twelve to five, and this victory was able to propel the Suns to further their wins by claiming the remaining side games, obtaining a clean sweep against the Pirates. The Suns are currently second place in the overall standings, and we'll see if they can keep up this good momentum in the final bracket!

For our second match of the day we have Tyrannia versus Kiko Lake! As usual, Tyrannia dominated the Yooyuball field, scoring goal after goal against the Kikos. The Kikos were able to retaliate, but it wasn't enough to stop the onslaught of the Fossils! Against Roo Island and Altador, the Kikos have done really well in Slushie Slinger, managing to obtain wins against both teams! Tyrannia wasn't going to let that happen, however, as they slung slushies like their lives depended on it! The Fossils were able to get a shocking score of twenty-three in Slushie Slinger, as opposed to the Kikos’ nine! This definitely shows that Tyrannia isn't ready to lose another game, and will go to drastic measures to prevent another loss! We'll see if they can keep their losses to a minimum in the final bracket!

RooligansThe match between Roo Island and Meridell is the last matchup of our bracket today, and what an exciting match it was! Meridell was able to dominate the first half, but Roo Island quickly caught up, and were able to pass Meridell, the score ending six to four in the Rooligans’ favor! The Rooligans were also able to side-sweep the Knights, although they cut it very close in Shootout Showdown! This marks another clean sweep for Roo Island! Currently third place in the overall standings, the Rooligans look to be in a good position to stand on the podium once again! As with Altador and Tyrannia, we'll see if they can keep it up in the final bracket!

Now for our match to watch! We have Jelly World versus Everybody! Jelly World will be a tough opponent to beat, and we'll see if all the teams can rally together and defeat them!

All joking aside, today is a break day! So all of you can relax, max out Shootout Showdown using the one goal method, or explore the vast world we call the outside! This is Matt, along with my co-anchor Katie, signing off! We'll see you the day after tomorrow, everyone!
 

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Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).

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I agree with Finn The Human...

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