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Psmucker3

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Hey guys. Sorry but this is somewhat of a vent post...

 

I think I have OCD, but I have never been tested. Recently, in the past year, it's been getting worse. I am a perfectionist to the point where it makes me go crazy. It makes me anxious. And sometimes I get really depressed. Days when I feel lazy and feel like doing nothing I feel like a worthless human being and beat myself up about it. I also have random habits I can't stop...this sounds so bizarre but like twitching my nose. Ugh!!! What should I do?!! I feel like I'm going crazy. 

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Does it interfere with your every day life? I have been diagnosed with PTSD and OCD with major depressive disorder that sort of tags along with those lol. With my OCD, I have a compulsion to put things in order...even if the objects aren't mine. It gets so bad that I have a "W.R.A.P." (wellness recovery action plan) where I plan every outing or social interaction beforehand so I can change my focus or leave if I must.
If you think you need help, seek professional help. Sometimes stress or certain lifestyle changes can cause different, peculiar behaviors. I'm a perfectionist too, but it's not because of my OCD...my family just seems to be that way lol.

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I agree with S_A: you should ask for professional help if it is interfering with your life. I too have a tendency to become obsessive, anxious, and depressed. In my case I have been taking SSRIs (to help regulate serotonin levels) for several years and although I'd never blindly recommend it to anyone without knowing more it has been very helpful for me. Over the years I've also become better I suppose at recognizing trigger situations and trying to just logically out-think my issues... it doesn't always work of course, but I do try to think about the times I KNOW I have let myself get weird and talk myself out of it. When things were at their peak I even once wrote myself a little letter that I could re-read when I felt an episode coming on. It sounds really cheesy, but it was like a reminder from my 'normal' self to smarten the heck up ;) 

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My sister and I both have OCD, along with anxiety, being autistic and probably other issues. My sister's case is more severe, I'm not going to talk much about her as I don't think it would be polite. We both take medication and see a behavioral health therapist. These things definitely help, though there are still days where we have more trouble. It sounds like you could have OCD, but I can't say for sure, of course, as I'm not a health care professional. I know there are a lot of misconceptions about OCD. It is not always about a person wanting to keep things very clean, or thinking something bad will happen if they don't open and close a door a certain number of times, for example. It manifests in many different ways, and just like many aspects of life, there are varying degrees. Having the urge to do odd movements can be a sign. In my case, I have a thing about lint and dust. I will wipe my clothes down with a sticky roller or a lint-free cloth way more than necessary and if I see particles of dust in the air I will spray with disinfectant spray because I feel like saturating the air causes the lint to sort of absorb and the spray cleans the air. I don't do this all the time now that I've gotten help. Sometimes it also helps to minimize the likelihood of the OCD being triggered. I will have the urge to wash my hair or brush it obsessively if it gets too long because I feel like it gets dust on it too easily, but I keep it short and then I don't have so much trouble with that feeling. If you are really bothered by these habits and, as has been said, it is causing you problems in your daily life, I definitely recommend talking to a doctor or mental health professional, then you can get a better idea of what is going on and what can be done to help you deal with the situation.

 

One other thing - I don't know how much of an effect me saying this will have on how you feel, but I think it's important to say and that is you have absolutely no reason to feel bad or beat yourself up about feeling lazy and not wanting to do anything sometimes. Everyone deserves time off where they just relax and take it easy, that is understandable and also important. Of course it's good to be productive, but if you are working and doing stuff all the time, you will likely get burned out and then you could get sick, or have more problems with anxiety. Take time out for yourself, do some deep breathing, listen to music, or whatever helps you relax and know that you deserve that. Also know you have worth as a person and you are important. Please take care!

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